


Weakness

by questioningconstellations



Series: time will heal us [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, and Arya has been through a lot, because there's no way Arya emerged from that battle the way she's shown to, it changes people and what they want, post 8x03, sorry 8x04 doesn't exist here, they talk about things that need to be addressed, trauma is real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 09:26:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19170430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/questioningconstellations/pseuds/questioningconstellations
Summary: Arya and Gendry take a moment to breathe after the Battle of Winterfell and Arya confesses something she's decided on in light of the events of that night.





	Weakness

**Author's Note:**

> He’s alive and so is she.

Her eyes are closed and she relishes the feeling of his warm breath against her bare shoulder. She’s ensconced in the safety of his arms which are wrapped around her form as the sweat cools from their skin. She takes a moment to look around.

She takes in the sight of her chambers, miraculously unharmed despite all the destruction. If the world was just this room, it would be as if nothing had ever happened. Like all the events of the most harrowing night of her life had never even occurred. It’s a pretty picture, she’ll give it that. But it’s not the truth. 

The truth lies in the puckered lines of the scars that map her abdomen which will never go away, the gash on her forehead now sewn shut by her sister’s steady hands and the pale blue imprint on the sides of her neck where the Night King had gripped her moments before she made him crumple into a pile of icy shards.

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” Gendry murmurs into her neck.

She twists in his arms to face him, relieved to feel his hand still resting on the curve of her waist. 

“What?”

She sees the pain that crosses his face, “You’re leaving for King’s Landing, when they march for it?”

“And _why_ would I go there?

“Cersei’s at the top of your list.”

She freezes at his words, “You remember my list?”

He smiles wryly, “Of course I do. Heard you say it every night when we travelled together. Reckon I could recite the thing myself.”

She smiles slightly at his words, as memories of their time together surface from the depths of where she had buried them. She remembers feeling safer with him than she had felt with anyone else after her father’s execution. She remembers laughing with him, pushing him when he called her “Milady” for the first time. She remembers all of it with startling clarity. 

She looks in his eyes and all she can see is warmth and the sight makes her breathless. For so long, she had longed to see him again. She had wondered if he was even still alive or if she was missing a man whose last breath had long since left his body. If the beauty she saw in him as a child travelling with him, no longer existed in this world. If he was withering away somewhere far from her and all alone. 

But he isn’t. He’s here with her and in her bed. She can feel the steady beating of his heart underneath her palm. He’s alive and so is she. They’re together, laying under her sheets. 

“I’m not going.”

His eyes blink in confusion, “What?”

“I’m not going to King’s Landing. I’m not going to kill Cersei.”

“But why-”

“-I want her dead but it won’t be by my hand.”

She brings his hand to the scars that map her belly.

“This is where I was stabbed,” she starts. “Someone tried to kill me.”

“Arya-”

“I’ve served Death for so long and I’ve killed so many. I’ve done things that if I tell you, you won’t be able to look me in the eye. You might even hate me-”

“You’re wrong,” he says immediately. “I could never hate you. Not even if you killed off an entire House. Not even then.”

She laughs lightly at his words. He doesn’t know how close he is to the truth and the delightfully befuddled look that settles on his face makes her smile even more. She presses her smile against his lips and he hesitates before kissing her back with matching fervor. As they kiss, she feels his hands running along her sides as her hands wrap around his neck. 

As his fingertips brush along the sides of her breasts, she groans and feels a familiar tightening in her belly. She doesn’t want to stop but she needs him to understand so she pulls away reluctantly.

She traces his lips with her thumb gently, “Beric died for me, you know? So I could live and end the Night King? He took knife after knife and he couldn’t defend himself because he’d thrown his only weapon at the wight that had tried to kill me.”

As she talks, her voice becomes more choked and the tears that she’d kept close are falling freely now. She tries to keep it under control but she can’t. For the first time in so long, Arya can’t keep a hold of her emotions. She doesn’t know if it’s the exhilaration of her survival or because he’s here or both. 

She kisses him again just because she can. Because he’s here, his body warm with life. And she’s so thankful that she’s not lying in this bed alone, kept company by only the memories of them. 

She pulls away, “I defeated Death last night. I looked him in the eye and put a dagger through him. I’m done, Gendry. I don’t want to kill anymore. I want to be the girl without a list and only revenge keeping her going.”

She takes in his expression then. The guilt in his face is palpable. 

“I’m so sorry,” he says. “I never should have stayed with the Brotherhood. People hurt you and I wasn’t there. I was supposed to protect you and I failed.”

“You’re wrong,” she breathes. “We both failed. We were supposed to protect each other and neither of us could.”

“I-”

“-But it’s okay. We’re here now. We’re together and that’s all that matters.”

He stops trying to speak then and just gazes at her. The intensity of it makes her flush slightly.

“I love you,” he breathes.

Her hand that was caressing the planes of his chest until that moment stills. Her eyes widen as she gazes at him,

“Love makes you weak.”

She sees the panic in his eyes, “Arya-”

“And I am weak,” she admits.

He shakes his head at that, “No you’re not. You’re the strongest person I know. You’ve always been that-”

She covers his lips with her hand, “It’s okay. I want to feel this weakness. I want to _feel_. I don’t want to be strong. I just want to feel alive.”

“And do you feel alive?” he asks, eyes peering at her cautiously.

“With you, I do,” she confesses, fear overcoming her as she makes the admission. Will he reject her again, she wonders. “You won’t leave me again, will you?”

“Never,” he says firmly. “I can be your family.”

She smiles as he echoes the words she’d said to him years ago, this time with a much happier ending. 

“I love you,” she says. “Do you know what we say to the God of Death?”

He raises an eyebrow, “What?”

She presses her lips against his and breathes the words against his lips, “Not today.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find me on [tumblr](https://questioningconstellations.tumblr.com) if you've got questions about GOT and gendrya or if you just need a safe space to spill all your gendrya thoughts and emotions because I'd love to hear all of it :)


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